As someone from a middle-class family in India, I have had an awkward relationship with celebrations.
While growing up, I was often told not to celebrate when things were going well. A mark of something spectacular in life, celebrations were often viewed as indulgences. “Do not celebrate too much; there is always a rough patch around the corner.” Any celebration, small or big, was a reminder that the law of averages will catch up, and something unpleasant unexpectedly shows up.
Getting into the non-profit space with this mindset got even trickier. Unlike new-age start-ups, we do not derive value and worth from the amount raised but from its ability to move the needle; to whatever extent possible. We do not derive value from the market share gained but the shrinking size of the markets we serve. We do not derive value from enviable compensation packages but from our stakeholders being able to gain more agency. So while money is necessary to create impact and do justice to the mission, the work always takes precedence.
The desire to be optimum and the fear of being non-existent forced me to push for efficiency, optimisation and deriving value through impact & actions instead of standing back and savouring a moment of success or joy.
In 2015–16, when one of our board members Mr Kalyan Kumar Banerjee, first mentioned the idea of a Reap Benefit organisation retreat, my mind quickly declared it a waste of precious money. But, three years into our existence, he felt it was an ideal time to celebrate learning, failing and growing with the idea. It was our initial few years; resources were limited, the team was constantly trying to save, and yet, Kalyan Sir had proposed an organisation retreat!! And, if one needed to learn, was there any better place than being on the field?
Kalyan Sir saw me struggle with my thoughts and my reluctance to invest money in getting the team together to celebrate. So he gladly offered to fund it among his many gestures in enabling Reap Benefit to reach where it is today.
For the first time at Reap Benefit, we went on an organisation retreat in Pondicherry. Filled with many fun moments, I saw myself as a part of the team. Until then, it had always seemed like Gautam Prakash, our co-founder, and I were driving the organisation forward. Getting to meet people outside work situations and understanding where they came from made me see the value in social connections and informal spaces. I had always viewed my teammates as comrades on a mission. In Pondicherry, I was proven wrong. They were comrades on a mission with their histories and journeys. And it was important to acknowledge that. To date, I am grateful for Kalyan Sir’s foresight and trust in our organisation.
Fast forward to 2022.
The team came forward with a proposal to have another organisation retreat. After the turbulence and sufferings the world had gone through post-COVID, I struggled to come to terms with the concept of coming together to celebrate. What was there to celebrate?
Having seen the ups and downs in the last two years, the team felt it was important to come together and acknowledge our shared journeys. We had walked the talk to whatever extent possible, the team and organisation were still afloat, and we were constantly evolving every day. Yet, amidst all those sufferings, there were still a few joys that we needed to celebrate.
A simple reminder of what Kalyan Sir had said 7 years ago.
The team went full throttle in planning for a two-and-a-half-day retreat. Aptly themed “celebration and looking forward”, the team started curating ideas to celebrate our work, people and their resilience over the last two years. We invited our old team members, board members, funders and Solve Ninjas. There was something magical about this retreat, something special. Felt by almost everyone, this retreat left a deep impression on all who came together to make it what it was.
Distilling some of my observations:
Diversity: This was probably the first retreat where 50% of the team didn’t know what the other 50% was watching on Netflix. During the dance night, the team from Punjab was dancing to Kannada songs and not English or Hindi music, which until then had been a dominant feature. It was the first gathering where we had to be mindful of speaking in English, Hindi and Kannada simultaneously. Going forward, I believe a few more languages will get added to the list. The founders and founding team didn’t run the show. For any new person joining the team, it might have been confusing to figure out the organisation’s leadership, which I feel is an amazing indication of growth and something spectacular in the making. Sometimes conversations around diversity can get tokenistic; diversity is a process and not an end in itself. Through Reap Benefit, I started seeing people with diverse lived experiences joining the team because action became a common democratic unit that tied everyone together. It radiated a different kind of energy that could even be felt by external stakeholders who attended the retreat.
Sometimes conversations around diversity can get tokenistic; diversity is a process and not an end in itself.
Kalyan Sir remarked, “Reap Benefit today is probably a more pan-Indian enterprise than any Bangalore organisation. Many I met for the first time — Navneet from Punjab, Sarah from Odisha, Madhumita from Tamil Nadu, and Poonam from Bengal. There was a certain maturity to the team as well — no more looking up to a few leaders — the baton moved seamlessly as we moved through the morning. It dawned on me that Reap Benefit was an evolved organisation with distributed leadership, mature and confident — every session facilitated by somebody new, each as competent as the other.”
Action as a democratic unit: This retreat reinstated my belief in the power of action and its democratic ability to bring people together. Words, articulation and language often can create power structures. But, when action is at the centre of all that we do, it has the innate ability to transcend language and cultural experiences to bring diverse teams together. It’s like playing sports — it does not matter if you are a certain height or physique or have had a different upbringing than most others. Once on the field, you are bound to your teammates by the common language of the sport you play. It was the same with the Reap Benefit team. Having lived through shared experiences of climate and civic problem-solving actions, we had created a remarkable team where anyone and everyone could ask questions because they were rooted in the centrality of action. Action is the existential answer.
In a world where we celebrate articulation, pomp and grand talk, conversations with Ms Aruna Roy, Indian social activist and Mr Anshu Gupta, Founder Director — Goonj, made the team realise that taking action is not petty but a powerful tool. Keeping action at the centre and weaving it with speaking is even more powerful. It reminded me of something I had read a few years back:
Action creates courage
Action isn’t petty
Action makes you humble
Actions allow for the emergence
Explanations follow actions
Motivation follows action
Action is an existential answer
Types of Leaders: During the retreat, a young member opened up about the struggles she constantly faces as a woman. Opening the floodgates of a very emotionally charged conversation, people came forward to share their personal experiences. People can talk and write theories about safe spaces, but in my opinion, a safe space is created not by words but by actions. By the body language of people surrounding you. We are safe spaces. That activity was a great example of what a safe space really is. It was a deeply emotional moment- not planned, not a part of the design, but definitely an action. This moment allowed the team to create yet another shared experience in their journey together. To some extent, I got a masterclass on creating safe spaces and demonstrating leadership using head, heart and hand. The different types of leaders I saw were:
- Leading from the side: Being present at that moment and providing emotional and moral support to the team members. These leaders weren’t bound to their designations, plans or structures. They were in service to their team members without worrying about the future. With their ability to sense people and see them for who they are rather than who they should or should not be, these leaders add tremendous value to the organisation
- Leading from the back: The sudden change in the itinerary for the day rattled a few team members. While the most straightforward thing could have been to discount their discomfort and pass a moral judgement, few team members took charge to plan the day- being respectful of the emotions at play but also fulfilling the transactional requirements of others. An organisation with a strong defence deepens the work and impact that the team can together deliver
- Leading from the front: After the detour of the activity, some team members used their demonstrated facilitative leadership skills, reacting to the here and now but keeping the long-term picture front and centre — a vital component needed to move the needle forward.
In a recent discussion with Gautam John, Director — Rohini Nilekani Philanthropies, he remarked that power and agency are linked. In hindsight, maybe, just maybe, we are getting this right. The sense of agency is high in Reap Benefit, and how the team handles power could have a huge role to play in it.
Joy as a value: After 2.5 days of being together, I realised that the Reap Benefit team or most of it, derives JOY from handling uncertainties and ambiguities. Throughout the retreat, whenever a difficult or extreme situation arose, I found the team navigating it without worry. Joy is the attitude we have when we’re doing something we believe in that gives us purpose- what we love — regardless of the results. Joy is purely inward. When you choose joy, the work is the reward, not the result!
As one of our early supporters, Mrs Hema Hattangady, said, ‘Reap Benefit has purpose, vision, mission and values. It has evolved to be an organisation where the team feels comfortable in its skin. Where the single-minded pursuit of purpose is deftly communicated, it is absorbed even by new entrants. Donors, advisors, and board members feel thrilled to participate in this movement. It is an absolute honour and a privilege to know you all.’
Personally, this retreat has been the highlight of my working career. It urged me to connect with my emotions, smile a little more than usual and look at failure without worry. The conversations during lunch, morning walks and free time created bonds. For a lot of people, the retreat was a sign of growth. Many people were a part of such a large gathering for the first time. For many, it was validation — going back to their villages and towns and talking about their experiences.
It was in this moment of realisation that I felt that my role was to orchestrate.
To be a spokesperson for all these wonderful people.
To use my privilege to be in their service. To come together and celebrate- for growing, evolving and showing resilience. For celebrating as a team and as an individual.
*This is a guest blog and views are personal. Reap Benefit is a grantee of
Rohini Nilekani Philanthropies.
